Hello, all you tremendous two-legged readers. This post may seem highly unusual, as cats do not usually make new year resolutions. However, I thought it might prove fun to adopt one of your traditions, just to see the results. Below you find my cat new year resolutions.
I’ve come up with eight, which, for a first try at this tradition, seems like a lot. A cat normally assesses the present situation, considers possibilities, and acts in the way he or she believes to be the best solution. He doesn’t feel the need to change things.
However, I am not your usual cat, so will try out this idea. Here goes:
I will work to wake my CCL (Cantankerous Cat Lady) earlier. I’ve gotten lax, and have let her sleep in too late in the morning. I see I’ll need to add some techniques to my wake-up options. For one option, I’ll try jumping on her stomach. That might jolt her awake faster.
If that doesn’t work, I might try licking her face. She doesn’t seem to care for it. It seems she would appreciate the cleaning, as I’ve never seen her lick her hands and wipe off her face. She seems to prefer using a wet cloth. No accounting for some of your two-legged preferences.
I will spend more time guarding the house from high places. I can look down from the top of the kitchen cabinets or from the high window above the office shelves. From these places, I have an excellent view of the house and can spot something amiss very early on.
Fortunately for me, I am good at climbing and jumping, skills I need to get to those high places. I’m so good that perhaps I’ll audition for a circus and become a famous climbing cat. Besides, I feel bigger and more confident when I am up above it all.
I will work harder at cheering up CCL when she is sad. Ah, it’s so easy to become selfish, and to overlook the needs of others. At times, I can sense CCL does not feel very happy. Perhaps a bit more loving attention would be of value.
Perhaps if I rub more of my fur all over her clothing, she will realize I care about her and will cheer up quickly.
I will use every opportunity to explore CCL’s bedroom closet. Is there some secret thing in there that she does not want me to find? Every time I dash in there to explore, she makes me leave again. What is she hiding?
There must be some secret that she keeps from me. She never lets me stay in there long enough to explore thoroughly. I shall have to resort to stealth.
I will observe closely the opening of cupboard doors. Many items that I’d love to access, such as extra food or treats, are kept behind these closed cupboard doors. CCL discourages me from trying to open them, but sometimes she goes out and leaves me here alone.
At such times, I can attempt all sorts of things, and trying to solve this puzzle falls into that category. I am a clever cat, and can think of ways to try to open them. I am sure that I can enlist Mocha’s help in this project as well, as he is also interested in those cupboards.
I will find out where CCL hides the catnip. I do love my catnip. Sometimes CCL remembers to give me some, but sometimes she forgets. If I can find where she keeps it, I can shorten the time between catnip treats.
After all, our catnip drug is legal, so you cannot get in trouble for giving it to us, nor can we create problems by using it. Of course, we might create a bit of mayhem, but at least you will know we are amused and having fun.
I will come more often when called. I always know when CCL wants me to do something, because she will call me. Of course, sometimes that also means she has treats, so I have to weigh my options and decide whether I’ll respond or not.
I do know she wants me to come to her, but I am not a dog. That’s one reason we cats don’t always respond to your calls — we are not some slobbering pup who only knows how to make a big fuss over people, just to get more attention.
Yes, we do like attention, but we do not believe in making fools of ourselves just to get more of it. Therefore, we show our independence by only responding part of the time. We ask ourselves, “What’s in it for us?” and then decide if obeying the call is worth it.
What I shall do is to respond to her calls two times out of three, instead of one out of three. By doing so, I’ll make my point that I still operate by my own schedule.
I’ll take care to retract my claws when playing with CCL. I’ve discovered that, when play-fighting with my two-legged, I must be gentle. Her skin is so thin and she has no fur to cover it. I must be more aware that I can hurt her by being too rough.
After all, for being so large, these two-leggeds are not very tough. They just act tough. We must remember that our defensive equipment is so much superior to theirs that we can do some real damage to these sensitive creatures without realizing it.
I’d Also Like To Wish You An Outstanding New Year
I do think your habit of wishing others well, whether for a birthday, a holiday, or just a way of saying you care is a very nice one. Therefore, since I can put the wish in writing, I will do so for all us cats to all of you. I’m guessing it’s a first new year’s wish you’ve received from a feline.
We do care about you, especially if you treat us well, feed us on time, and keep us busy with fun projects. We may not show you in the flamboyant manner used by a dog, but we do wish you well, especially if you treat us with the respect that we deserve.
Now, I have made my resolutions. Have you made yours yet?