Hello, two-legged readers. You are reading the latest writing endeavors from Lucinda, the literate cat. My CCL (Cantankerous Cat Lady) came to me, agitated, and asked if I could write a special column this week to help her out. She’s embarking on the second month of her Super Affiliate Challenge, and is short on time.
To give you a glimpse of her progress on the new website, here is a link: https://build2winaffiliates.com
My CCL asked me to tell you what it is like for me, being a cat, to become a writer and book reviewer. I must say, it has been an unusual experience.
I am so glad my cousin-cat is now living with us. To tell the truth, I was beginning to forget some things about normal cat behavior after spending so much time reading and writing. It is good to be reminded that I am a cat.
Our cat lives are so simple. We are gifted with instincts that tell us what to do in certain situations if there is no one around to be our teacher. Those of us who are lucky also had our education greatly expanded by our mother’s teachings. And, when we become a house cat, we learn, in varying degrees, how to interact with our two-legged companions.
When we move to a two-legged’s home, we will have our paws full for a while. First, we must investigate thoroughly to make sure there are no hidden dangers in the house, and to mark the whole place with our scent. That way, visitors with nose talent will realize that this territory is already meowed for.
Then we have to train the two-leggeds. They need to know our schedule as to meals, arising, and going to bed. They need to understand that the litter box must be clean at all times. They need to learn what things we 
absolutely don’t like, such as bathing, rubbing our fur the wrong way, or forgetting about meals.
They expect us to follow their endless rules. If we are clever, we cats learn to give whisker-service to these rules. We obey when our two-legged is around, but when she is gone, we can do pretty much what we want, as long as we don’t get caught.
Reading has not been easy for me. I spend a lot of time looking things up. Reading points out to me the wide difference between the two-legged world and our own. Your ideas are so complex. Ours are so simple, and are based on a much shorter list of requirements.
You have so many things. That in itself complicates things. Why, you have to have a different name for all of those objects. We cats are territorial and regard our home as emphatically ours, but we do not have possessions. Oh, maybe a few toys, or a scratching post. You, on the other hand, have many, many things, each with a different name and purpose.
And speaking of territory — you two-leggeds are not just territorial about your house, but also about all the things inside. Just think how much simpler life would be if you removed all the “things.”
We cats get into arguments and we have feelings, but we tend to move through these experiences and then 
forget them. We live in the moment. We do not pine over something we no longer have. We grieve, but we do not dwell on the past like some two-leggeds. We are much better at letting go.
We do love our creature comforts. We relish a soft bed and a warm house. Here in Alaska, we are sun worshipers, and if we find a sunny patch on the living room carpet, we find it a great place for a nap.
My cousin and I prefer the inside, unlike the CCL’s last cat, Carlos, who was an accomplished hunter. However, we do enjoy a stroll in the yard on sunny days, and a spring tonic snack of new grass. It really helps clear all the winter sludge out of our systems. We also enjoy those outside sunny spots.
There’s another thing I’ve had trouble understanding. Why do two-leggeds have so many clothes? CCL has a whole small roomful. Granted, they have no permanent fur coat, like we do. But a roomful? Over the top, I’d say.
We are so fortunate to have our fur coat that we do not have to change. As for washing, we do that ourselves, every day. My CCL, on the other hand, has to remove her clothes and put her whole body in water to wash. Ugh! Glad I don’t have to do that. I know a few cats do like a tub bath, but I am certainly not one of them.
Not only does she have to wash her body, but she also has to wash her clothes in a special metal box with a window in it so you can see the clothes in there. It fills with water and spins really fast. I am so glad I don’t have to wash my fur that way. That machine would make me very dizzy and wet.
Another thing I have noticed. The CCL is forever going somewhere with that big noisy box she calls a truck. I am not sure how she gets that big thing to do what she wants, but they have some kind of agreement. She went off somewhere again this morning. Why doesn’t she just stay home?
My cousin tells me not to try to understand the two-leggeds. Perhaps he is right. Perhaps I have been reading too much. Cats normally live from day to day, one day at a time, and the two-leggeds simply can’t seem to do that. They think we don’t understand, but we understand much of what they say, and they talk about going here or there. I guess to them all this traveling is important.
I sometimes read about how two-legged scientists have been trying for years to understand cats. Likewise, some of us are trying to understand them — but not too hard. It is our belief that it is best to live and let live, and let it go at that. We are cats and cats we shall remain.
Hello again Lucinda
Great read this morning thank you and I do often wonder about the cat we have next door. Squawky is so lazy. It is getting colder here in New Zealand and the field mice are coming closer to our homes to keep warm and Squawky watches them walk right past him and does nothing. Absolutely nothing!!!
From what I have learned observing how other felines hunt, these wee treats are perfect anytime day or night and was wondering your thought on this.
Do you have mice in Alaska? Are they an easy meal? Would love to know more about this when you get a moment. I realise you will be a little busy with your cousin moving in but perhaps the 2 of you could share with me
Hello, Vicki, and thanks for stopping by again.
That cat next door is not acting like a cat! What is wrong with him? Why is he just letting those mice run around wherever they want? His two-leggeds must feed him too much. And, even if he didn’t want to eat them, he could kill a few and take them in as gifts, just to show he has been busy. Some cats!
Yes, we have mice in Alaska. However, in Gustavus we only have voles and shrews. I agree with Carlos, my CCL’s last cat. They taste terrible! They are fun to chase and to play with, but not my idea of a good lunch.
So far my cousin has seen no voles or shrews. However, the CCL makes sure he goes outside a bit, and he has been noticing birds with great interest. He crouches down and creeps up on them. I don’t think he can catch them, though, as he is old and slow. It’s good he finds them interesting. He has managed to catch a few flies in the CCL’s office window, so that is good.
Glad you enjoyed the post. CCL wants me to do another one soon. What should I write about? Any ideas?
How truly powerful cats are Fran
Yes, I believe they are. I believe that, in their simple way, they figure out answers to many things we make complex. They have always been among my favorites, and I am happy to have had some great cat friends.
Hi! Thank you very much for this interesting post. It does us good to once in a while put things into perspective. Viewing the world from an other angle can sometimes give us some fresh ideas. I really liked a couple of your statements “Why do two-leggeds have so many clothes?” and “two-legged scientists have been trying for years to understand cats”.
I wish you success with your Super Affiliate Challenge! Keep up the good work!
Thanks, Henry. Cats do have a different way of observing life than we, and it is both fun and challenging to try to understand the differences. It has been interesting to me to try to write from the perspective of a cat. All I have to go on is a lifetime of experience, but obviously the cat can’t tell me in plain English what is going on in her fuzzy head. I just have to observe and deduce.
I’m glad you liked the post. Do come back and visit my website from time to time.
An interesting post! And one I enjoyed as I adore my own feline friend and all others very much. I spend a lot of time with my furry friend as I work from home and the observations are so true from both the cat and human perspective! A very fun read and I wish you the very best!
Thanks, Jade. Just for fun, sometime try writing down what you think your cat is thinking. They are such amazing little creatures.
Working at home is great news for your cat, as he gets to be with you more. My cat has his own chair in my office (had to give him one or he sat on my mouse pad) and spends much of his time there, or sitting on my desk and watching out the window.
Hello Kelso;
You’re such a talented person who is able to speak through Lucinda! It’s a powerful article that really reflects a crafted handiwork of your passion about cats! While reading this article, I have reflected back into my habits as a “two-legged” and seen daily burdens the two-legged are always having: bathing, washing clothes, worrying that clothes are worn out or having to irone clothes, etc. and stopped a bit ….thought….found that cats are lucky! Another think that’s well-said is how we human beings, “the two-legged”, hardly “let it go” whenever there is a worry or some heavy arguments with others….but I liked how cats let it go easily….
By the way, do we have scientists specializing in cats’ behaviours? I’d be glad to read about this…frankly, it’s a new information I’ve got from your powerful article.
Thank you for sharing
Oscar
So glad you enjoyed the article. Yes, there are scientists who study cats, and well they should, for cats have figured out some things that it would behoove use to learn. Yes, if you would like a simple lifestyle, request rebirth as a cat. As a human, it might be difficult, as I can’t quite see myself licking myself to bathe.
Lucinda, it is such an amazing pleasure to have discovered the magical musings of a mouser such as yourself. Having shared most of my life with four-legged feline friends I have often wondered just what was going through the fuzzy brain. I was tickled pink to discover that these adored companions have a philosophy that guides them through their lives and endeavors.
Now that I have met such a literate and philosophical cat, I am compelled to ask why is it every cat seems to prefer the water from my glass to the fresh water in their own bowl?
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind sharing everything I have with my friends, but every cat I have ever lived prefers the water from my glass to the water I have so carefully prepared for them. There must be something to it – If I could only understand.
Mark
You know, I have wondered about the “water in the glass” thing myself. Sometimes I think cats just like to copy what we do. They must think it’s the cat’s pajamas to do things our way. I visited Garberville, CA, recently and spent a month with a friend. While there, I interviewed some cat folk and put their stories on my website. If you would like to read the story, here’s a link: https://celebratingcats.com/so…
Well, it’s very interesting because this story is written in the view of a cat.
I like this story because I had a cat before. This story reminds me of what my cat was thinking about me when I lived with her.
I laughed when the cat tried to understand why two-legged(it meant a person in the paragraph) had to wash her clothes using a washing machine.
It’s a fresh story but I was just wondering if my cat would have thought like that.
Well, Lucinda is getting quite good at expressing her thoughts. She has written book reviews for my post for several months, and she has no problem speaking her mind.
It’s fun to write these stories, trying to put yourself in the cat’s place, and wondering how she would see it. I am glad the post made you laugh. That’s a good thing.