When someone tells me they own a cat or two, I shake my head in disbelief. Not only are they wrong, but they are just plain delusional. If you have shared your home with a cat for very long, you can soon see the signs that your cat owns you, not the other way around. You don’t believe it? Let me share with you a large body of evidence that proves my point.
Who Establishes The Cat’s Routine?
We cat lovers know that a cat thrives on routine — but who sets the routine? The cat has a very accurate built-in clock that tells him when it’s time for breakfast. His method of awakening you may vary from cat to cat, but the intent is the same — “Get up and feed me!” My mother, who slept on her back, had a cat that would sit on her chest in the morning and pat her face to awaken her. She opened her eyes to see two cat-eyes staring back at her.
Mocha’s method is a bit different, but the end result is the same. At precisely 7:30 he comes in the bedroom and starts calling me, loudly. He sharpens his claws on the box springs, dragging himself along the floor to ensure he’s done a good job. If I’m not fully awake by then, he jumps on the bed (or on me) and again announces it’s time to eat.
The same is true for dinnertime, though the tactics may differ. After all, you are already out of bed. Now the cat engages in a demanding conversation that will not let up until he receives his food. Funny — that technique doesn’t work for me. I have to get my meal myself.
Then, the cat chooses what he wants to eat and expects you to prepare it. If the food is not to his liking, he’ll sniff it and walk away, expecting it to be changed for something more desirable. You try various foods until you discover the one he truly likes. Of course, tomorrow he may desire a different meal. You’ll find you become more concerned about the cat’s diet than about your own.
Ploys Used To Gain Your Wanted Attention
If you attempt to use your computer and the cat wants attention, he makes sure he gets it. Some cats simply lie on your keyboard. Not Mocha — his technique is to walk across the keyboard, creating some kind of message from outer space on your screen. Then he lies down on both mouse and mousepad. If he can trap my hand underneath him, too, so much the better.
If the cat wants to play, he will let you know. Have you noticed that your cat has more toys to choose from than you ever did when growing up? Of course, if you want to play and the cat has other ideas, he may become quite aggressive in letting you know he wants to be left alone.
Your cat is very partial to his fur coat and sees nothing wrong with providing you with one as well. You will soon find that your garments develop their own furry look, thanks to his generosity.
Forget about privacy! If you are in the bathroom seeking some alone time to take care of personal business, the cat will be sure to come and investigate. As for his bathroom habits, he expects you to clean up after him and keep his litter box squeaky clean. If it doesn’t meet his standards, he may find a convenient spot outside the box for such personal chores.
The Cozy Takeover: How Cats Assert Control in Your Home
When it comes to making themselves at home, cats have a knack for picking the perfect spot and turning it into their own little kingdom. Ever notice how your cat always ends up on the comfiest seat or sprawls out on the sunniest part of the couch? They’ve got an eye for luxury, staking claims on the best real estate in the house. Their talent for finding cozy nooks is unmatched.
The cat chooses his spot when and where he wishes. You had a favorite chair? You may find that it has been requisitioned for use by His Majesty, and you may no longer sit in it. Of course, if he decides to lounge on or next to you, no matter how uncomfortable you become, you are expected to remain motionless for as long as the cat is present.
The same rule applies to the use of the bed. Once he settles in, often taking more than half the space available, you are expected to manage with what is left over. You are not permitted to move him from his chosen spot.
Signs That Show The Cat Has Taken Charge
You find yourself becoming more and more cat-like. You often prefer the company of the cat to many humans. You speak in meows. You celebrate his birthday and take more pictures of him than of your human friends. You build a catio, of course including one chair for you so you can enjoy the space with him.
The cat has ways of marking you as “his.” You might think those licks he gives you or the sweet cheek-rubs are marks of affection. Nope — they are his way of marking you with his scent to let the world know that you belong to him!
Emotional Domination and Clever Psychological Tactics
Cats are masters of emotional manipulation, using their soft purrs and gentle head-butts to get what they want. That consistent purring? It’s a soothing sound that often compels us to offer food, affection, or comfort nearly on command. This purring isn’t just about happiness; it’s a strategic noise to ensure they stay in the spotlight of our attention.
A cat’s show of affection can be as selective as it is sudden. One moment, they seem aloof, and the next, they’re nudging your hand, prompting you to strokes along that perfect spot behind the ears. The key is deciphering the subtle signals, those little cues your cat gives when they’re in a mood for love. By learning to recognize these, you’ll cater to their fickle fancies just right.
The gaze of approval from a cat is a rare treat. Those slow, deliberate blinks are their way of sharing trust and contentment, a message to take seriously. When they meet your eyes with slow blinks, it’s as if they’re offering a silent conversation of warmth and trust. Responding with your own slow blinks can mimic this communication back to them, fostering a deeper bond.
Accept Your Fate — You Are Owned By Your Cat
The data is in. The cat knows how to get what he wants and usually gets it. You have been manipulated. Overwhelming evidence shows that you do not own your cat — he owns you. I rest my case.
References I used for this post:
https://nationalkitty.com/13-signs-your-cat-owns-you/
https://www.vetstreet.com/our-pet-experts/6-signs-your-cat-owns-you
https://thought.is/10-signs-your-cat-owns-you-and-not-the-other-way-around/
Very cleverly done and quite accurate, as if the cat had dictated the text himself.
Yep — Ain’t it the truth? Thanks for commenting.