Hello from Lucinda the literate cat. I offer you one of my newest book reviews for your enjoyment. I think this one will be fun. It’s called “Women Who Love Cats Too Much,” and it was written by Allia Zobel. Illustrations are by Nicole Hollander.
I tend to agree with the cat on the book cover, who believes it is not possible to love cats too much. Read on, and decide if you think so as well. Of course, your view and a cat’s view may not be the same. Let’s discuss a few of the book entries.
Is The Internet For Cats?
The first one I definitely do not agree with: “You know you are spoiling your cat when he is on the internet.” Am I spoiled because I use the internet? I don’t think so. As a working cat, I am bringing you important new information about cats. The internet is my playground.
I know there are several cats who have Instagram accounts, and I think their followers would miss them if no longer there. Once you become an internet star, the world is at your paws.
Here’s one that fits our household: “You throw away at least six cans of salmon before you find one your cat likes.” CCL (Cantankerous Cat Lady) has been concerned because Pogo is not eating enough. He is on special medicated food, but she tries all the variations of it that she can find, hoping to hit upon one that Pogo will eat.
Have you ever tasted these cat foods for yourself? If you have, you must understand why we aren’t crazy about them.
How To Deal With Kitty Boredom
CCL says she can relate to this one — “You hire live-in help to play with your cat while you’re at work.” What a good idea! We cats often get very bored if we are left in the house alone for long hours. Without a cat door, we are imprisoned. Having someone to play with us and give us lots of attention could earn that person lots of kitty points.
However, hiring a limo (I found out this is just a fancy car) to take your cat around town is overdoing things a bit — especially as most of us don’t much like riding in a car anyway. Forget the limo — we’d much rather go for a hunt in the woods.
Some of the entries in the book make very good sense, but some of them are pretty extreme. For example, look at this one: “Your cat gets French manicures.” Now, what self-respecting cat wants his claws filed and painted? Those claws are our hunting tools. They are used for important work, and are not meant to be painted and filed.
We can take care of them ourselves. Can you imagine how our cat friends would snicker if they saw
us with nails all filed and painted? How embarrassing!
Even the mouse might laugh, if he escapes our grasp. Or, he might even see the claw before it gets him, just because of the unusual color, and then he might make a run for it before it’s too late. Not at all good.
Have You Ever Had To Ride In The Cargo Hold?
Here’s a good one. When taking an airplane ride, can you remember when we cats had to ride in cargo? That is how they did things before the two-leggeds developed a fancy cat carrier that fits under the seat in front of the passenger. That’s so much nicer because you can see your two-legged, and you know she hasn’t left you.
But, what about the time before, when you cats had to ride with all the luggage? The book says, “You know your cat is hazardous to your health when you sit in the cargo hold with the cat when you fly on airplanes.”
Now, that action on the two-leggeds’s part seems like an extreme self-sacrifice, when she gives up her comfy seat to ride with you and the suitcases. She should be commended for such devotion.
My CCL has a new routine in which she takes a nap with Pogo every day after lunch. She calls it “cuddly cat time” and it is meant to help the cat go to sleep. Then CCL can get up and go back to work.
However, sometimes the plan backfires. The book entry says, “feel obliged to nap with your cat during the day — then you can’t sleep at night.” I believe CCL knows this one quite well.
It’s Best Not To Create Domestic Issues
Now, here’s one that can cause a domestic issue: “You ask your husband to sleep in the guest room so there’ll be more room in your bed for the cats.”
I can understand the sentiment. We are small and soft and furry and we take up much less room than a two-legged man. With a chorus of us purring on the bed, you can sleep very well.
However, it’s probably not a good idea. The two-legged man may be the one who brings home the groceries, and that means he is responsible for buying them with that strange stuff you call money. If you make him really mad by asking him to sleep in the guest room, he may just go away and not buy us any more kitty dinner.
It is a good idea to convince your two-legged “mom” not to adapt such an extreme course of action. Though I like the idea of more bed space, I don’t enjoy it when my two-legged companions have a disagreement. They can get very scary and noisy.
Do you have a cat at your house who can’t decide if it wants out or in? Does the cat sit in the open doorway and try to make up his kitty mind? That’s a common thing with cats, and the book recognizes this cat thinking. It says, “Expects you to stand at attention opening and closing doors for hours at her whim.”
Well, of course! If you just installed doors that we can open and close, you can solve that problem easily.
Have You Thought Of Hiring A Detective?
When your cat goes on a jaunt, do you wonder where he’s going, and worry the whole time he is gone? The book’s quote on this issue is “Hire a detective to follow your cat when she leaves the house.”
Well, as cats, we can take care of this problem very easily. Make sure the detective is following, and then slip into a narrow hole under the fence where the detective can’t follow. Then, once on the other side of the fence, run really fast to find a good hiding place before the detective can get through.
Now, if you are worth your catnip, you can easily follow a path that only a cat can manage, and soon you will be well away from that dumb detective.
Here’s a good one: “Don’t bring work home because your cat sits on the computer and you can’t bring yourself to move him.” Yes, of course, if kitty is comfortable on the computer, leave him there! You shouldn’t bring work home anyway. Your time at home should be devoted to entertaining and caring for your cat.
After all, the poor cat has waited for you all day and deserves some of your time when you return.
Some of these statements in the book are a bit extreme, but several of them are right on target, and I think it’s good that a two-legged author has pointed out a few things to you. Keep them in mind when interacting with your cat.
Strange Loud Noises Can Be Scary
Now, in our house this one is most important: “Blow-dry your hair in the garage because your cat doesn’t like the noise.” If CCL used a hair dryer, she might find it necessary to go to the garage, because Pogo freaks at any unusual noise. The noise from that hair dryer creates a Pogo problem.
What about this one? “Sneak the company helicopter for trips to the vet.” You know we hate to visit the vet. Perhaps flying there in a helicopter could change the experience for us.
In fact, it might be a relief to get off that machine to go in the vet’s clinic. Sometimes the best way to get through a bad experience occurs when we can consider it the lesser of two evils.
There are many other strange ideas in this little book. To get your own copy, you can order it below. However, if your cat happens to learn to read, better not give him this book as it might give him several new ideas that you might not want him to have.
Here is your chance to get a copy of this amusing book for yourself. Click on the image or the blue highlighted link below, and you will be taken to Amazon to complete your purchase. Please be aware that I receive a small commission if you purchase.
by Allia Zobel – Nolan; illustrated by Nicole Hollander